she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
