I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
