Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
