I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
