God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
