Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
