i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
