ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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