if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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