Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
