youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Randomize
