And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
