I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
