he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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