guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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