PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
