I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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