dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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