don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
