plz talk dirty to me
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
