I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
