I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
