careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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