Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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