I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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