Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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