There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
