hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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