Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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