Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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