How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize