I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
COCAINE IS GR8
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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