dude i'm inner monologue high
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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