You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
