How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
