I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
