Say something about gay babies.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
