can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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