I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
