I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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