So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
