The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
