What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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