found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
