I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He better not be in your backpack
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
