I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
