You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
