she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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