is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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