Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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