so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
