For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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