these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
